For the Love of Father: Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

My son, take care of your father when he is old;
grieve him not as long as he lives.

My dear brothers and sister, the gospel episode on this feast of the Holy Family of Nazareth – Jesus, Mary and Joseph – focuses entirely on St. Joseph. As is often observed, St. Joseph is silent through the entire Gospel, he speaks not once. Not only is he silent, however, but the gospels do not provide us with very many details about this man, charged with the care of Our Lord.

For these details, we must turn to the pious traditions of the Church. While not essential to the faith – we are not obliged to believe them – we do benefit from paying attention to these traditions as these deepen our faith. According to the venerable Mary of Ágreda (1602-1665), who received special revelations directly from Our Lady concerning the life of the Virgin Mother of God, and recorded these in a book called The Mystical City of God, we learn that, having lived with Our Lady for a little longer than twenty-seven years, St. Joseph died at the age of sixty years and a few days. This allows us to date the age of Our Lord at the death of St. Joseph at about twenty-seven years.

We can see, therefore, how this verse from the first reading, from the book of Sirach, applies to Our Lord and His relationship with His father. From these revelations, we can deduce that Our Lord began his public ministry only after the death of His father, choosing to be close to St. Joseph until his death. In any case, given the lack of biblical reference to St. Joseph during Our Lord’s ministry, we can be sure that the public ministry of Our Lord commenced only after the death of St. Joseph.

My dear brothers and sisters, owing to the intimacy with the lives of others that the reception of holy orders offers, I have realized the extent to which the institution of the family is challenged. I refer not to persons who choose to live outside of marriage, or other forms of life that are not ordered to Christ, but to the number of parents who languish alone in old age. It is not that their children do not care; but their parents, and the heathen society we live in, have formed them to pursue and privilege material benefits alone. This has ensured that these parents are now left alone in their hometowns, while the children are far away, across oceans and seas pursuing lucre and material success.

Left all alone, the scenario is worsened when they fall prey to the illnesses that precede death. They must now rely on the kindness of strangers, nurses and other caregivers, who at times may not be kind. In any case, however, we must remember that the caregivers, not being family, cannot provide the affection that comes specifically from the children one raises, or the family one has grown up with. Communication is complicated by different languages and more importantly cultural mores. When you are sick, and even more when you know that you are on the edge of the grave, it matters that the caregiver have a bedside manner that one is familiar with.

The feast of the Holy Family of Nazareth offers us, dear brothers and sisters, the opportunity to model ourselves on this holy family, and above all on the example of Our Lord. We must not abandon our aged relatives – and I do not mean just our parents – to the care of strangers in their final moments. And this care cannot be given unless our entire life, from the time we are earning and working adults, is shaped by the determination to be present at a moment’s notice for our families in their time of need.

There is a beautiful tradition of depicting the death of St. Joseph surrounded by his Son and wife. This is the death that we should all hope for. Some time ago, I was informed of the death of a pious nun I knew the Italian town of Bagnoregio. Her sisters in the convent assured me that she died at dawn, in her bed, surrounded by her community who accompanied her death with prayers and hymns.

This, brothers and sisters in Christ, was the kind of death that St. Joseph enjoyed, and one that we must all aspire for our loved ones. And not just our loved ones, but every Christian, and ourselves! We must mobilise to pray at the bedside of those who are in ICU, those who are clearly dying, so that they die accompanied by the prayers of those who care for them – whether related by blood or not. To do so would be to imitate Our Lord and the holiness of the family of Nazareth.

One last word inspired from a portion of the reading from St. Paul’s letter to the Colossians:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, 
as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, 
singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs 
with gratitude in your hearts to God.

How does one create the situation where despite being far away we are committed to our families? One sure way is prayer. I was recently edified by the example of a family that gathers virtually to pray the rosary of Our Lady – a great way to bind ourselves together and grow in holiness. The rosary is a prayer that is rich in the word of Christ, founded as it is on biblical episodes and facts. And our rosaries should not limited to the recitation of the Our Father and Hail Mary, but also as often as we can, accompanied by little reflections on the Marian mysteries we contemplate.

May the Holy Family of Nazareth bless you and aid you in your growth in holiness this Christmastide.

(A version of this homily was first preached to the faithful on 27 December 2025 at the parish of St. Catherine of Alexandria, Old Goa.)

(Image reference: The Death of St. Joseph, Bartolomeo Altomonte, 18^th century.)