Vossa eminencia Dom Filipe Neri Ferrão,
Cardeal-Patriarca das Índias Orientaes, Arcebispo de Goa e Damão, reverendos
senhores padres, reverendas irmãs religiosas, excelentissimos senhoras e
senhores, quem são em Cristo, nosso senhor, todos meus irmãs e irmãoes.
I could very well begin and conclude in a single line by
thanking you all for being here on this special day for me. But I have an extended
list of people to thank, a whole life to recount, and I promise you that this
is going to be long, very long.
To begin with I must thank God, the God of my joy, for having
called me to major orders, and hopefully, a little more than a year from now, the
priesthood.
God the Father, gives his name to the family, and it is first
to my family that I turn to give thanks. My mother laid the ground for a very
sensible spirituality very early in my life. I recollect quite clearly my
mother telling me that prayer is but a conversation with God and I could do it
anytime, anywhere, and indeed, everywhere. This ensured early colloquies, and a
conversational relationship, with God, and for this I cannot thank her enough.
That, and the memory of her putting me to sleep by singing “Maiden Mother meek
and mild, take oh take me for thy child”.
My poor brother Joel bore the brunt of my childish
viciousness, as I would edge him out, kick his shins so that I got to ring the
bell, or do other important stuff while we were altar servers in Panjim church.
For your early, and dare I say continuing, patient suffering Joel, be assured
that you have gained some spiritual credit in aiding a (potentially) priestly
vocation.
My poor brother Joshua had his own fair share of weirdness to
deal with as my fascination for liturgy took unusual forms as we were growing
up. I realised that this had been traumatic for him when many years later, he
saw me laden with ritualistic paraphernalia involuntarily shouted and slapped
his forehead “oh no! not again!” Your patience too, dear Joshua, will – I have
no doubt – stand you in credit at the time of judgement.
I come from two devout families and must thank them too. My
paternal grandmother Armenia dos Remédios Fernandes wanted one of her sons to
be a priest. As it turned out, none of them were called, and her great desire
had to wait a generation until it has been partially fulfilled. Indeed, I
credit her continuing prayers for having supported me thus far, and I hope in
the future as well.
I recollect when we lived in Bangalore, when I was about 6
years old, I was blessed by the late Bishop of Mysore Dom Mathias Sebastião Fernandes,
the cousin of my paternal grandparents, who remains an inspiration.
I am also grateful for the example of the venerable Carmelite
friar Fr. Anastasio Gomes who was my father’s uncle. Padre Bottu once told my
father “Blood is thicker than water.” Blood, is indeed thicker than water. Some
years ago, while going through back issues of the Renovação I came
across an argument which read like I had crafted it. “Who could this be?” I
wondered, “anticipating my arguments by so many decades?” I kid you not, but my
eyes pricked with tears when I read the name of the author Fr. Anastasio Gomes
O.C.D.
Likewise, my mother’s family was not lacking in piety. We
need to understand the context of Catholicism in Mangalore, where initially,
the faithful were supported by certain more established families, who hosted
chapels in their homes and around whom the community congregated. My
grandmother, Martha Goveas came from one such family – the Souza Porobs, and
perhaps also for this reason was a model of piety, and Christian charity. She was
insistent when we went to Mangalore on holidays that we say the angelus in the
evening. Then there is my aunt Winnie. I recollect from my holidays in
Mangalore, that while I lazed in bed, one eye open, she would have woken up
early spending some time upright in bed immediately after waking up while she
made her devotions. Like her mother, she too has spent her life in devoted
living for others. There was the example of the devout Coutinhos of Kalladka.
The evening rosary in their house was like the opening scene of Visconti’s film
Il Gattopardo. Above all, however, is the memory of my mother’s paternal
uncle, the martyred Jesuit Fr. Alphonse Goveas, who was – through my mother’s
talk about him – an inspiration that took me to Bihar and was instrumental in
my early contemplation of the priesthood. Way back in 2000, soon after I
graduated from the National Law School, I did contemplate the Jesuits, and in
fact spent a year working there to check them out up close, but that route was
not what God in His providence had in mind for me.
It takes more than a family to raise a child, however. It
takes a village, and there are a few people, to the great injustice to many
others, that I would like to give thanks to today. The first, my next-door
neighbour, and fortunately for me a parishioner of Aldona today, Mrs Armida Alberto.
I would practically live in her house on holidays and whenever I recite the
angelus in the noon today – I have the image of her saying the angelus at noon
time fixed firmly in my head. Another neighbour whose devout lifestyle
impressed me early one was the wife of the late Maestro Antonio Figuereido. It is for this reason that I have encouraged
so many to bring children to this ordination mass – it allows them to fixate
things in their subconscious, memories that will eventually bring them back
into the church.
I went through something of a rebellious phase in my teens and
thought that the most important part of the Mass was the homily (For those who
still haven’t got the memo, it isn’t). A co-worker at the Goa Foundation,
Nancy, on hearing this pronouncement gently responded “Really? Let him take his
time, he will realise later on.” I have lost touch with Nancy, but thank her in
absentia for this patient and kindly response, which, I have no doubt, got
me thinking about the value of the mass itself.
He may have his critics, but the late Mons. Carmo da Silva,
as parish priest of Panjim was an inspiration, and even now I can recollect the
great dignity with which he vested and prepared for Mass. There were also other
diocesan priests who have gone to their rest, and I think of, in particular, my
very dear friend Fr. Francisco Caldeira, whom I thank for the wonderfully
inspiring conversations we had! You see those of us Goans who become priests
walk in the footsteps of the giants of our race – accomplished, erudite men who
laid the foundations for a civilisation!
The community that gathered around the English language mass
at Panjim church, and especially Guilhermine Vaz, her sisters and the others
who were members of the choir, provided a spirited environment in which to
grow. In fact, the hymn we heard at the offertory, was one that we sang on
Mission Sunday many years ago. I was the prophet Samuel, and Vasco Dias, with
his lovely baritone voice was God. That hymn just grabbed me then, and look
where I am today!
And then I must thank the members of various Jesuit
communities starting with the late Fr Austin Reinboth, Fr John De Mello, the
late Fr. Paul Jackson of the Patna Province, who corresponded with me as a boy.
Once again, I must thank my mother for making contact with them way back in the
late 80s or early 90s. I remember also the late Fr. Keiss from the Goa
province.
Another religious who was influential was the Salesian Fr.
Ian Figuereido. Hearing him preach at the shrine of Our Lady of Fatima in
Panjim, I would often think to myself, “I have a similar fire burning within
me, and I want to be like that”! God willing, I can now set the world on fire
with the Word.
Sometime after I settled down in Lisbon, say the year 2011,
the thoughts of the priesthood returned and it is the Capela do Rato that offered me the
port at which I could finally dock and nurture my relationship with Mother
Church, as well as the vocation to the priesthood. For this I thank my friends
Luis Mah, Marina Costa Lobo, and Ângela Barreto Xavier, who were all instrumental
in my going to the Capela do Rato. Indeed, it is a particular delight for me to
recognise the presence of Ângela, and her brother Carlos – who directs one of
the choirs at the Capela – in the congregation here today! Thanks must also be
rendered to Dom Tolentino Cardinal Mendonça who was chaplain at the time. It
was at the Capela that I was confirmed as a Catholic, and I received excellent
instruction from the late Deacon José Alberto Costa, who guided my
pre-confirmation catechism and was wonderfully supportive of my vocation. He promised to come to Goa to vest me at the
diaconal ordination, and if he is not here today it is simply because he was
called to his eternal rest first. I think of him every time I have the
opportunity to return the Blessed Sacrament to the tabernacle. Following Dom
Tolentino´s elevation, I found a friend in the succeeding chaplain Fr. António
Martins, and once again I am grateful for his friendship.
And how can I forget Pe. Mario Rui Leal Pedras and Pe. Hugo Miguel dos Santos of the Igreja de São Nicolau in downtown
Lisbon, effectively my parish church, and where I saw, and learned, how
important good liturgy is. For those who are aware of the politics of the
church in Lisbon, you will know that the Capela do Rato and São Nicolau
represent two different tendencies within the Catholic Church, and many have
wondered how I manage to embrace them both. But this is our calling as
Catholics; to be bridge-builders. After all, isn’t this what Pope Francis is
calling us to be through the synodal path? People who listen to each other, and
walk together?
Another special moment of grace was the death of Pope Saint
John Paul II and the election of the late Benedict XVI. At this moment I was
called to actually read Benedict who was being vilified in the secular press.
It was Solano da Silva who loaned me the first work of Cardinal Ratzinger and
for this I am eternally grateful. In the writings of Ratzinger, and later
Benedict XVI, I discovered the
savant of our times who has proved something of a guiding light to me.
By the time I had finished my PhD in 2013 I was clear that I
wanted to be a priest, and was clear that I wanted to serve in Goa, but the
path forward did not seem quite clear. I knocked on many doors for advice. Finally,
the Jesuit Fr. Tom Michel who I met at Georgetown University at Doha offered
wonderful advice – “find a bishop who will understand your vocation”. That
advice eventually took me to our Archbishop. I met our Archbishop because I
wanted to discuss the proposal for a research centre in Goa, and midway through
our conversation I realised “OMG! This is the man, the bishop, I am looking
for!” I was right in my estimation of him that day and I am so glad for his
support through this journey, and trust that it continues! His decision to send
me to Rome, and the Pontifical Beda
College, for formation was one that I am so grateful for since it allowed
me to experience – to the extent that the pandemic allowed – the universal
church.
For those who are wondering why I have made such a big deal
about a diaconal ordination, it is once again to our Archbishop that we must
turn. Early last year he explained to me that it was at the diaconal ordination
that one makes the vows of celibacy, prayer, obedience; and that the
relationship one was entering into was like a nuptial relationship.
Well, if it was a nuptial relationship, given that I am being
ordained alone, and I am not obliged to restrict numbers, why not give it the
importance that it deserves? The diaconate is not simply a pit stop on the road
to the priesthood. Fr. Philip
Gillespie, the Rector of the Pontifical Beda College has repeated on
numerous time that we should not see the priesthood as “the glittering prize”,
but rather be attentive to the entire journey to the priesthood, and then
beyond. Look at the priesthood as the glittering prize and be sure that you
have misunderstood what the priesthood is about. This lovely book, The
Heart of the Diaconate, by James Keating which I have been reading on
the diaconate confirms that the diaconate is about imitating Christ the
servant, the thrust of today’s liturgy, and it is an office that one holds
throughout one’s life, even as a priest. Without the self-emptying of the
diaconate in imitation of Christ, there is no effective priest. To undermine
the diaconate, and focus only priestly ordination, would in some ways be to
fall into the trap of clericalism, which so many good Goan priests have made a
clarion call in the past few decades – some of them are sitting even now in the
sanctuary and for their presence in my life as friends and mentors I am so
grateful.
Through Fr Tom Michel whom I met at Doha I also met Fr.
Damien Howard, now Jesuit Provincial of England and Wales, who has been a rock.
More recently I also became indebted to Fr. Godwin Serrão of Dhyanashram at
Mount St. Joseph in Bangalore who guided my month-long Ignatian retreat. There are
many more Jesuits I should personally name, but I dare not for fear that you
will genuinely run out of patience. I must not forget, however, my dear
Jesuit friend Fr
Richard de Souza who has accompanied me through discernment and priestly
formation, and I hope will continue to be a reliable presence in my life when I
need good advice.
More recently the Oratorians in Rome, the UK, and Toronto has
been good friends as I have kept discerning just how my diocesan vocation will
shape up. In particular I would like to single out Fr. Richard Duffield of the Oratory of St. Philip Neri in York, who has been instrumental in opening many doors to me.
I have to particularly thank our diocesan ordinary for
placing me in Aldona, where I was very warmly received and borne with much
patience by the parish clergy, Fr. Tomás Lobo and Fr. Michael Fernandes. To the
many good people of Aldona who have been so welcoming of me, my sincerest
thanks and my assurances to always pray for the wellbeing of their community.
So many people are choosing Aldona and the surrounding
villages as a home, or location for their second home. The beauty that attracts
them is not a beauty that automatically comes from the landscape, but from the
beautiful people who live here. This beauty in turn, comes not the influence
from the Portuguese, but from Christ. As my time in Aldona showed me, a village
with a significant Catholic presence is a precious thing. Indeed, it is a
manifestation of what St. Augustine called civita dei, the city of God. Aldona
may not be a perfect manifestation, of the city of God, but it is a very good
attempt at embodying this ideal. To quote Christ himself, “You are the light of
the world. A city built on a hilltop cannot be hidden.” My dear Aldoncars,
“your light must shine in the sight of men, so that seeing your good work, they
may give praise to your Father in heaven.” I particularly pray that you continue to shine
from this hill, because dark times are approaching, and we will need your
shining example to see us through them.
To those wondering how much longer I am going to take, I have
good news; I am almost done. I must also thank all those who have been involved
in organising the ordination today. To my mind this ordination has not been a
solo project but a community project – gathering friends, family, and
parishioners. Many friends have helped put this liturgy together. I would like
to thank the Cotta family, and my friend Franz Schubert Cotta, for lending
their voices to the liturgy; Sonia Sirsat for the hymns she has offered; Fr.
Ramiro Luis for being the MC; and the priests who have concelebrated; Alfred,
Jessiel, Jocel, and Richard for being acolytes; to Nestlin, Adrian, and Maxie of
the confraria for their participation and support; David Silva e Fernandes for
designing the coat of arms to accompany my motto; Joannes for organising the
livestream of the ordination; Juliana de Sa for singing the psalm; Conrad
Fernandes whose use of elbow grease brought shine to the processional silver
that has been used in today’s liturgy; Flavia who has catered for the tea this
evening; Avani for laying out the booklet, and John Colaço for printing it;
Deepa D’Sa for her efforts for the ordination cards and arranging – along with
her family – for the photographer; Enid and Zeffrey for printing the ordination
cards; to the many members of the Parish Council, the parish service team, the
men’s team, and the parish staff who have helped – Michael, Gloria, Gracie,
Peter, Bernard, Henrita, Philomena, Mathilda, Santan, and our sacristan
Christopher. Finally, I am thankful to all of you, for your presence here today,
and those online. Some of you have travelled across our state, some from across
the country, and some, like my brothers, from halfway across the planet. I must
remind you that it is the support and prayers of people like you that support
and have supported me on my journey thus far.
For those of you wondering why I have spoken about everyone, except
my father Amor it is because I have saved the best wine for last.
If my mother provided me the context within which to address
my prayers, my father was responsible for the form. Let me put it this way, if Mummy was Capela do
Rato, Daddy was Igreja de São Nicolau! Daddy was a Catholic of the old Goan
order, and like them he performed his piety – going down on his knees to pray,
crossing himself when he passed a church, walking devoutly in processions,
saying prayers for the anonymous dead. Above all, he was devoted to the rosary,
and would carry one in his pocket, in the folds of his handkerchief, which he
would pull out whenever he had the time. It is to this devotion that I owe my
own fondness for the rosary, which I started to pray passionately after he
passed away. I’d like to see this devotion to the rosary as a grace I received
through his intervention.
Daddy had a deep desire that one of his sons be a priest, and
I regret not telling him before his untimely death that I was close to
committing. However, given I was still dithering at the time, and that I hadn’t
found the right bishop, I didn’t want to give him false hopes. In any case, he
knows now, and I also credit his prayers with supporting my vocation. One last
thing, about my father before I move on. Toward the end of his life my father
became so devout, that I am convinced that had my mother pre-deceased him, he
would have either moved to become a priest, or joined a religious congregation. Which is why I would like to point out that it is never too late to contemplate religious or consecrated life. My own life is a case in point. If you are forty, and single, then do consider religious or consecrated life. There is no better life than one lived not for oneself, but for others.
At the end, I would like to thank our common Mother, and for
this, I have asked my friend Sonia Sirsat to please sing an Ave Maria which I
am particularly fond of. Once again, I thank you all for your presence, your
prayers, and your attention.
Tumkam sogleank Dev borem korum.